Cut Me Down
by SilverMidnight52
Summary: The cuts on Sweets back have a deeper meaning. Sweets is tired of the nightmares. Does he try to stop them? Forever?


New story. I own nothing. Suicidal themes. Have fun reading. No sex.

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The knife came down again and again. I could feel the blood falling from the cuts and covering my back. I wanted nothing more than to scream, but I knew that if one sound slipped from my lips I would be hurt a lot worse.

He turned me over so I was staring at him and told me that I should just beg him to kill me. I knew he was right. Just as I opened my mouth to ask him to kill me, to beg him to end my life, I woke up.

My breathing was coming out in pants. I touched my hand against my forehead and wiped the sweat off. The sheet that I had on my bed was wrapped tightly around me and was sticking to me because of the sweat.

Sitting up and pulled the blanket off me and stood up. I went into the kitchen and started to make some coffee, knowing I wouldn't be able to sleep again tonight. My body was shaking with fear when I slipped into a chair.

I was used to having these stupid nightmares, but that didn't mean that they didn't get to me. It was recent that the dreams had started to come more often. Whenever I awoke from the dreams I had to force myself to not try to kill myself.

Hearing him tell me I was useless and that I should beg for death made me wish I was dead. But I couldn't die; I couldn't let him be right, at least not yet. Anyway, I didn't have time to think about this. I had to help Booth and Brennan before thinking about myself.

The microwave went off and I got up to get the cup of water. I was still shaking so it was hard to pour the coffee mix into the water. With a sigh I drank the coffee as quickly as I could without burning my mouth.

Going into my bedroom I grabbed the suit I was going to wear and went into the bathroom. I took my clothes off and got in the shower, making sure I didn't look at the mirror.

It didn't take long for me to take the shower. When I was done I quickly dried off and put the suit on. I went into my bedroom and put on shoes and put everything that I needed into my pockets.

Once everything was in order I left my house and got into my car. As I drove to the office I tried to ignore the voice running through my head telling me that I should run this car off the road and into a wall or a tree.

I pulled into a parking place and getting out of the car I walked up to my office. When I got into my office I let out a sigh and sat down. For the first time since I had awoken I looked at the clock.

The clock read that it was three o'clock in the morning. I know that I was going to be really tired today. I hadn't gone to bed until midnight. Placing my head on my desk I moved my hand and turned the laptop on.

When I looked at the screen I saw that it was asking for my password. Typing it in quickly I waited for a second before standing up and going to the little kitchen to get some coffee.

As much as I wanted to go home and sleep I knew that I had to distract myself from the dreams. Making the coffee I went back to my office and opened the folder that I kept for Booth and Brennan.

I started to write things that we should discuss during our next meeting. There were some things that I needed to discuss with them. Although I knew that they weren't going to talk to me or answer any of my questions I thought I would at least try.

Helping Booth and Brennan was the only thing that I could focus on. I knew they needed help more than I did, whether they saw it or not. The relationship between the two of them was something that they both seemed to deny.

Everyone knew that they would make a great couple, and I believed that Booth knew this too. Brennan, on the other hand, I didn't think knew, although if she did I wouldn't be surprised.

Brennan was smart, but only in some sections. When it came to emotions, she had completely shut herself off from understanding them. She believed that emotions didn't rule the human body.

Booth was great with people, but he wasn't so good with the intellectual part. He could figure out why someone killed someone else, but he couldn't tell you how, though he hides his own emotions.

The two of them had a great partnership, and it could grow into something so much better if they let their emotions show to each other. I knew that it was my job to break through the walls the two of them had put up.

It was hard to get them to listen to me though. Both of them had no faith in what I did, which caused them to hide away from what most would think of as simple questions. When I spoke to them I found that I was getting the same feelings I got after my dreams.

Before I knew it someone was knocking on my door. Looking at the clock I saw that it was time for my session with Booth and Brennan. Sighing I stood up and walked over to the door and opened it.

"Hey Sweets," Booth said moving past me and sitting down.

"Hi," I said calmly, "I'll be back in a moment. I need to get some coffee first."

"Alright," Brennan said sitting next to Booth.

Sighing I closed the door and leaned against it before going to get more coffee. It didn't take long to make the coffee, and I was in my office quickly. I opened the door again and took a drink of my coffee before setting it down on my desk.

"Okay," I said smiling, "Let's begin."

"Wait," Booth said staring at my hand, "You're shaking."

"Oh," I said looking down on my hand and trying not to sigh, "I must have drunk too much coffee today."

"How many cups have you had today?" Brennan asked confused.

"I lost track after five," I said shrugging, "Anyway, let's get back to you two."

"How long have you been awake?" Booth asked with a little worry in his face.

"Since before three," I said standing up, "Now, about you two."

"Why have you been up so long?" Brennan asked making me slightly angry.

"I get that you two hate what I do, but can we please focus on something important?" I asked staring at them.

"Sure," Booth said slowly, "Whatever you say Sweets."

"Thank you," I said sitting down again, "Now I heard that Dr. Wyatt came to visit you two."

"Yes," he said nodding, "He came to tell me that he was going to quit being a shrink."

"Okay," I said crossing my arms, "Did that make you angry or anything?"

"No," he said shaking his head, "He's going to be following us around on this case though."

"Alright," I said calmly.

"I don't know what the appeal of this job," Brennan said shrugging, "It's not a direct science."

"True," I said sighing, "But people have faith in it."

"So it's like religion?" she asked cocking an eyebrow.

"I guess," I started to say before Booth's cell phone went off.

"We got a case," he said standing up, "Let's go."

"You guys need to turn your cell phones off," I said sighing as they left the room.

Sighing I went back over to my computer and started to write. I wasn't really sure what I was writing, but I knew that it was about Bones and Booth and everyone at the Jeffersonian.

It didn't take long for me to finish what I was writing. I reread it and saw that I could publish this. I printed it and put it on a cabinet behind my desk. My phone rang and I looked down before heading down to the confession room.

"Hello, Dr. Wyatt," I said when I walked in.

"Hello," he said smiling, "How are you today?"

"I'm fine," I said nodding, "How about you?"

"Same," he said calmly, "Although I have a feeling you're hiding something."

"Everyone has something to hide," I said right as Booth and Brennan walked in.

"Okay, while we're in there I don't want to hear any psycho mumbo jumbo," Booth said pointing at the two of us.

"You got it," I said as they left the room, "Dr. Wyatt, I was wondering if you would read this book I'm writing."

"Sure," he said nodding, "I'll read it."

"Thanks," I said before we focused on the case.

Booth and Brennan had gone with Dr. Wyatt to talk to some people while I went back to my office. When I sat down in my chair I spun around and looked at the pair of scissors that were lying next to my book.

I picked the scissors up and stared at them while hearing the man telling me to beg him to kill me. The scissors looked so inviting. Turning around and placing the scissors on the desk I started to roll my sleeves up when Dr. Wyatt walked into the room.

"Hello," he said smiling at me.

"Hi," I said dropping the scissors.

"Are you alright?" he asked looking down at the scissors.

"Yes," I said standing up, "Of course I am. You're here to get the book, right?"

"Yes," he said giving me a confused look, "What were you thinking about before I came in?"

"Nothing," I said shaking my head, "I was trying not to fall asleep. I didn't get much sleep last night."

"Did something keep you up?" he asked sitting down across from me.

"Sort of," I said before sighing.

"Did a nightmare wake you?" he asked cocking an eyebrow.

"Yes, but that is not the point," I said handing him the book, "Here you go. Tell me what you think."

"Sweets," he said calmly, "I believe that you aren't telling me every thing."

"Some things are better left unsaid," I said looking at the scissors again before my phone went off, "Brennan needs me, something about Booth being off duty."

"Oh yes," he said nodding, "Agent Booth shot a speaker."

"Okay," I said moving to the door, "Just bring the book back when you're done."

"Alright," he said as I left.

Brennan had told me that we needed to talk to people at a rock concert and I remembered how they dressed and acted so I quickly changed and made my way to the concert, where I was going to meet her.

Once I was at the concert I slipped into the crowd and waited. I saw Brennan talking on the phone so I walked up to her. She gave me a confused look, but told Booth what was going on.

We looked up at the stage only to see the singer slit his throat. Brennan hung the phone up and both of us ran to the stage. I kneeled next to him and pressed my hand to the wound.

As we tried to stop the bleeding Brennan pulled my shirt off. At first I didn't realize what that meant, but when she stood up and looked at me I knew that she saw the scars.

Brennan didn't say anything and I wasn't going to bring it up. Once the singer was in the ambulance I got home and changed back into my normal clothes. Going into my office I saw Dr. Wyatt sitting across from the desk.

"Hello," I said closing the door.

"Hello," he said standing up, "I read the book and I think it was great. The relationship between Brennan and Booth is very realistic."

"Thank you," I said nodding.

"Now," he said handing me the book, "I have a feeling that you didn't just write about them."

"What do you mean?" I asked taking the book and turning so my back was towards him.

"You were abused as a child weren't you?" he asked calmly.

"Yes," I said like it was no big deal, "Are you saying that I am putting myself in the book, in the relationship between Booth and Brennan?"

"Yes," he said sitting down, "I believe you feel the need to fix them in hopes that you can fix yourself in the process."

"And do you think I need to be fixed?" I asked cocking an eyebrow.

"It depends," he said standing up, "If you're going to tell me what keeps you up at night."

"Nothing," I said sitting down behind my desk, "I thank you for reading my book."

"Good-bye," he said leaving, "And you're welcome."

When Dr. Wyatt was gone I sighed and looked down at the book. I crossed the title off my book and put a new one. Looking down at the scissors I picked them up and started to play with them.

"Sweets," Brennan said opening the door.

"Hello," I said standing up and giving them a confused look.

Brennan told me a story about when she was a little girl. I was even more confused when she told me, but then she explained that she had seen the scars on my back. Booth looked between us and told us something softly before telling us that he wasn't going to say anymore.

They never asked me what happened to me, or how I got the scars on my back, although they did ask me to come with them to eat dinner. I agreed with a nod and looked back at the scissors. I guess I would be alive for awhile longer.


End file.
